Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Avoidance of Fear

Avoidance has been my theme for the past week and it would appear it is going to remain my theme for this week. I had to give that one minute speech last night and I did ok, not great, but not embarrassing either.

Nonetheless, the entire day before the little speech, I could not eat, talk, think or relax. I got a fortune cookie at dinner the night before that said that "Fear is really just excitement that needs an attitude adjustment."

Not bad. I tried to think of my fear of the one minute speech as excitement. Then I remembered that I try to avoid getting too excited, so I had to continue to avoid facing up to my fear. Remember this was fear of a one (1) minute speech.

Really I think it boils down to all of my avoidances. Avoiding the truth that I avoid success, I avoid taking care of my future, I avoid facing up to my past and all of that brings me to avoidance of action, avoidance of feelings and of course I have to be avoiding writing.

I can't not be avoiding writing at any time of my life.

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