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Showing posts from May, 2006

Empathy; This week's 'write on' word

Empathy, the ability to realize how someone else is feeling.

Webster's defines empathy as "the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts and experience fully commincated in an objectively explicit manner".

Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, reports, "Empathy builds on self-awareness; the more open we are to our own emotions, the more skilled we will be in reading feelings."

To be without empathy or the utter lack of empathy, says Goleman, can be found in the minds of molesters and the in the morals of sociopaths.

This word empathy is powerful. The reason I'm writing about it is because either through aging or life shattering experiences or my total loss of innocence, my ability to empathize has diminshed. I have no intention of becoming a sociopath or any other type of unmentionable …

Avoidance of Fear

Avoidance has been my theme for the past week and it would appear it is going to remain my theme for this week. I had to give that one minute speech last night and I did ok, not great, but not embarrassing either.

Nonetheless, the entire day before the little speech, I could not eat, talk, think or relax. I got a fortune cookie at dinner the night before that said that "Fear is really just excitement that needs an attitude adjustment."

Not bad. I tried to think of my fear of the one minute speech as excitement. Then I remembered that I try to avoid getting too excited, so I had to continue to avoid facing up to my fear. Remember this was fear of a one (1) minute speech.

Really I think it boils down to all of my avoidances. Avoiding the truth that I avoid success, I avoid taking care of my future, I avoid facing up to my past and all of that brings me to avoidance of action, avoidance of feelings and of course I have to be avoiding writing.

I can't not be avoiding writing at …

Avoiding the one minute speech

I have to get up in front of 60 people next Tuesday and give a one minute thank you speech. It is only Thursday and I'm already fretting about the whole ordeal.

I've been a computer teacher since 1985 and have no problem standing in a room full of people as long as they can look at the computer screen or the overhead screen and not directly at me.

This speech, one minute otherwise known as an eternity, is one that I would rather just avoid. Two of my bosses and one of my co-workers will be there to show their support, or to hear me make a fool of myself for one minute.

I'm thinking of avoiding the whole thing by calling in sick. I never call in sick, I usually avoid using any of my sick days, but maybe it is time to throw off the avoidance robe and get on with life.

Really, avoiding the one minute, feels like an eternity, thank you very much speech is the best solution. I think. I'll let you know. I just can't keep avoiding the decision. We'll see....

Another take on avoidance

My 'write' on word of the day came back to me in another way this afternoon. What's it mean when you see someone in a store, oh let's say the bookstore, and you or they quickly duck around the corner to avoid seeing you or you seeing them?

I have been the avoider and the avoidee at times. Today, I was the avoidee. When I do the avoiding, it makes perfect sense. I don't want to be seen in battered clothes that I've been wearing to wash the car or paint the stairs. I really don't want to talk to someone because I'm not in a very good mood and don't really want to make small talk or big talk for that matter. Sometimes, I'm just in a hurry and don't want to spend time catching up with someone.

But, when I am the one being avoided, now that makes me angry, sad and I daresay, depressed. Why would someone want to avoid speaking to me, even just a quick hello? The person looked dressed perfectly and did not appear to be in any hurry, until she saw me,…
My 'write' word for today's posting is avoid and all forms there of such as avoidance. I am a great practioner of avoidness. I avoid many things in life such confrontation, action, success (oh yes I have much practice at avoiding success), fear and most of all I have avoided writing.

I have had this tumultuous relationship with writing since the ripe age of 13. Being much older now, ok being 47 now, it has been a relationship lasting 34 years. It has been on again, off again, love, hate, hard work, no work and committment, renewed committment and failed committment. But, I digress and I avoid.

The world is filled with people practing avoidness. People avoid paying taxes, going to work, falling in love, getting married or getting divorced. Our entire country is avoiding the truth about 9/11 and the fact we could be attacked and killed again on our own soil.

So what are my feelings about the word avoid? And, why would I want to write about it, especially so that the entire Inte…

This is my first time -- where have I heard that before

This is my first posting. Does anybody really care. I do. It took a lot of thinking and actual soul searching to decide to blog. I am a want to be writer that has actually made a modest (very, ok extremely modest) living for a number of years as a freelance writer.

Making your way in this world as a freelance writer is not for the meak or the weak or for those that like to pay the electric or buy your children shoes on a regular basis. So I quit and went back to working in education.

I like working in education. The only thing I like doing more for a career is, you guessed it, writing. But, believe it or not, education pays more than freelance writing.

I have written two books. Business related topics they are and deep in storage they probably will remain.

Anyway, all of that has led me to this blog. My big plans for my blog include writing all kinds of brilliant, funny, thought provoking and just plain marvelous thoughts and opinions. They will be my opinions. All of the words will be m…